


Private Grief

by AshsHorrorShow



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Bluestar Feels Sad, Death, Drabble, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 18:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12152721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshsHorrorShow/pseuds/AshsHorrorShow
Summary: Running away from the past is hard when the past keeps coming back in painful reminders.





	Private Grief

‘Time heals all wounds.’ That was the message Bluestar always reminded herself whenever she found herself feeling sad and lonely again in her den, and to be fair, that message did hold a ring of truth to it. She could now go to Gatherings and see Stonefur and Mistyfoot talking to one another and not feel a motherly urge to pad over and talk to them like she once would have. She could pass the area in the woods where Mosskit had unfortunately froze to death without pausing and staring at the place in guilt. She showed no RiverClan cat, Mistyfoot, Stonefur, Oakheart, or otherwise mercy from her claws when they had to battle. 

Some days, she felt like she could honestly say she had basically moved on from it all.

But other days brought painful reminders that had her feeling sad all over again.

Oakheart giving her a small knowing smile from his place at the Gathering.

Seeing Mistyfoot and Stonefur talking fondly to Graypool.

Seeing one of the queens in her Clan doting over their kits.

And then horrible days like today where she found out not only Oakheart, but her deputy, Redtail died in a skirmish gone wrong.

It was like two blows at once. Redtail had been a good cat, loyal to his Clanmates and always wanting what was best for them. He had also been a good mentor to Dustpaw and a wonderful father to Sandpaw. He would be missed. _She_ would miss him. 

But at least she could grieve openly for Redtail. She couldn’t for the other tom who lost his life in that awful scrap. Part of her felt bad she even felt a pang of grief for the tom. After all, according to Tigerclaw, he was the one responsible for Redtail’s demise. She had a hard time imagining Oakheart actually _killing_ a cat, but she knew battles were harsh things. Tensions and emotions ran high and things went wrong. She didn’t want to believe Oakheart would do such a harsh act on purpose.

But what would she know? She hadn’t talked to Oakheart in so long. Maybe he had turned mean and nasty like a lot of cats were nowadays. 

Either way, wrong as it may be, she found her heart aching for him. But then she realized her pain wasn’t only for him. It was also for Stonefur and Mistyfoot, who she could imagine were right now crouched over their father’s body, pain in their hearts. She wanted to do nothing more than run over there and comfort them as she shared their grief. She wished at the very least she could tell at least one of her Clanmates about her pain - Frostfur, Rosetail, Whitestorm, anyone - but she couldn’t, now could she?

No, because she had a duty to maintain to her Clan and she had to stay strong. That was the duty of a Clan leader.

She had chosen this path for herself.

So keeping her grief inside, she padded to her den, silently promising herself that she had made the right decision. 

Sometimes it was hard to see that was true.

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Bluestar. Admittedly, I am not her biggest fan but she went through a lot. 
> 
> As always, critique is wanted, and I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
